The Perfect Mother
I recently bought a women’s magazine, enticed by the copy of “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” that was included for free. The magazine is quite interesting in itself, but I only ever really read it at the hairdresser’s.
Anyway, as I was reading last night I was intrigued to find a little column about the new fad of “bad mothering” blogs that are becoming popular in the US. Mothers admitting that they are unable to fill their role as they had imagined before having kids – cooking organic meals, banning television, etc.
I have often thought about this issue of perfect mothering. Like you, I have questioned myself and compared myself to other mothers, absolutely sure that they are more patient and play better with their kids than I do. I really cannot get into games. Ok, recently the kids got a play-doh set for Christmas featuring a plastic man and kit for making different hairstyles for him using play doh. That is a load of fun! But as soon as I make anything worthy of showing, my 2.5-year-old son gets out the plastic scissors and gives him a Nazi cut.
Like I said, I can’t really play with the kids. Luckily they now play well on their own. We also have an awesome babysitter who can keep them entertained 24/7, recently she told me (no surprises here) that she would like to study early education (and she should!). Also recently my daughter told me that “Ewelinka plays better – you’re kind of weak at playing, Mum.” But you know THAT’S OK! I have other things I enjoy, like reading them books. I’m sure I do more than the 20 min daily recommended these days.
And then there are the niggling doubts. I know I should be speaking English to them but I just CAN’T. It feels weird. So I do other things and then worry that it’s me being lazy: reading books and encouraging them to watch DVDs in English, enrolling them in preschool where English is a large part of the curriculum. Karolinka now understands plenty and doesn’t mind playing in English in the bath, though her English is mostly mumbo-jumbo in a funny thick voice.
And then there’s extra-curricular activities. I know people whose kids (similar ages to mine) do swimming, tennis, dancing. Some can also already ski. And then I wonder if not pushing my kids is me being lazy or me letting them grow in peace? We tried both kids on skis half heartedly this year. S liked it but is too young, K was intrigued but scared and definitely not ready for proper lessons. Yet I saw kids smaller than her whizzing down big slopes and wondered if I’m being lazy in not reinforcing and encouraging her to start?
There are really always going to be questions and doubts in our heads as the kids grow, but the important thing is to love them and do the best we can. I’m sure they’ll pick up English at their own pace and if I learned to ski ok as an adult (although I first learned as a little kid), they won’t miss out on much if we start them in a couple of years’ time, will they???
Anyway, as I was reading last night I was intrigued to find a little column about the new fad of “bad mothering” blogs that are becoming popular in the US. Mothers admitting that they are unable to fill their role as they had imagined before having kids – cooking organic meals, banning television, etc.
I have often thought about this issue of perfect mothering. Like you, I have questioned myself and compared myself to other mothers, absolutely sure that they are more patient and play better with their kids than I do. I really cannot get into games. Ok, recently the kids got a play-doh set for Christmas featuring a plastic man and kit for making different hairstyles for him using play doh. That is a load of fun! But as soon as I make anything worthy of showing, my 2.5-year-old son gets out the plastic scissors and gives him a Nazi cut.
Like I said, I can’t really play with the kids. Luckily they now play well on their own. We also have an awesome babysitter who can keep them entertained 24/7, recently she told me (no surprises here) that she would like to study early education (and she should!). Also recently my daughter told me that “Ewelinka plays better – you’re kind of weak at playing, Mum.” But you know THAT’S OK! I have other things I enjoy, like reading them books. I’m sure I do more than the 20 min daily recommended these days.
And then there are the niggling doubts. I know I should be speaking English to them but I just CAN’T. It feels weird. So I do other things and then worry that it’s me being lazy: reading books and encouraging them to watch DVDs in English, enrolling them in preschool where English is a large part of the curriculum. Karolinka now understands plenty and doesn’t mind playing in English in the bath, though her English is mostly mumbo-jumbo in a funny thick voice.
And then there’s extra-curricular activities. I know people whose kids (similar ages to mine) do swimming, tennis, dancing. Some can also already ski. And then I wonder if not pushing my kids is me being lazy or me letting them grow in peace? We tried both kids on skis half heartedly this year. S liked it but is too young, K was intrigued but scared and definitely not ready for proper lessons. Yet I saw kids smaller than her whizzing down big slopes and wondered if I’m being lazy in not reinforcing and encouraging her to start?
There are really always going to be questions and doubts in our heads as the kids grow, but the important thing is to love them and do the best we can. I’m sure they’ll pick up English at their own pace and if I learned to ski ok as an adult (although I first learned as a little kid), they won’t miss out on much if we start them in a couple of years’ time, will they???
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