Reminiscing about Pregnancy
It sometimes seems surreal to me that I have already travelled the crazy, scary, exciting and wondrous journey that is conception, pregnancy, birth and infancy. In fact, I am almost out of the toddler years – in 6 months Szymon will be 3, and will already be a “preschooler”, whether Mum likes it or not.
The fact that my husband and I are not planning on having more children possibly makes me more susceptible to reminiscing. I am also pretty clucky. But the truth is, I am happy with the stage we are at. I thought once that it would be emotional and sad in a way to see the kids grow up so fast. I was surprised to see how exciting it is though, to watch all the new developments, how fast they progress from one stage to the next. All of us mothers surely agree – our kids are freaking geniuses. How about them being able to hold that first small item in their fists at just over a month old? What about the way they hold their heads up? Hey, they only just learned to sit but now they are crawling, and pulling to stand up, what, within a couple of weeks? Oh wait, listen to what my two year old said today! Anyway, once I get a bit better at the technical side of Blogging, I will be starting up a section where we can all post the funny, clever and special things our little ones do and say.
But let me go back to those shaky beginnings. Geez I found it so annoying when, just after we got married, everyone started to ask when we were having a baby. Like as if we knew! We sure wanted one but I had experienced hormonal troubles before the wedding and had been taking hormones. The doctor had warned me that it might take a while to conceive. It didn’t really take us long at all in the end though, we were lucky – only about 3 months. I still remember looking up information on conception on the Internet! It was so confusing. Guess what? I only really understand it now that I’m a mother of two. How ironic is that?
Anyway, my husband had already made me do a pregnancy test when I knew I wasn’t pregnant, and it was so frustrating that I didn’t take the test with Karolinka until a few days of having sure symptoms. In fact, I had been very nauseous for a couple of weeks beforehand but I had for years been susceptible to gagging and sometimes throwing up in the mornings, especially during stressful times, like starting a new job, or having someone sick in the family. My grandmother’s health was fading right then so I had put the vomiting down to that.
I still remember how different my breasts became right at the beginning of the pregnancy and, even before the test, I knew that this was a sure sign. So I did the test the next day and as soon as two stripes came up, I started to cry. There was no going back.
Before I was pregnant I had this image in my head that pregnancy must be a really horrible experience – 9 months of being sick, fat and tired. I won’t even mention how petrified I’d been at the thought of giving birth. But once those two stripes came up, all I could think of was: I’ll deal with the birth when I come to it – I don’t have a choice either way.
I had to deal with morning sickness probably into the 14th week or so. It was pretty horrible but it passed. Second trimester was awesome. I felt on top of the world! I loved the fact that I was visibly pregnant, and I felt so good. I signed up for prenatal yoga which was a fantastic way to relax and exercise, as well as meet other girls my age who were also having their first babies. I have three friends from those times that will be friends for life (you know who you are).
In retrospect I do think I overdid things a little. Like when I was 5 months pregnant my elderly father-in-law passed away. I volunteered to organise the get-together following his funeral. The big grocery shopping trip, wheeling a chocker-block trolley and then setting up the table for 30 or so people, and running around took their toll. That evening I got some small contractions. My doctor didn’t freak but warned me that it was my body’s way of protesting and saying “slow down”.
I loved seeing the baby on the ultrasound and watching its progress. I also followed the bub’s weekly progress on http://health.ninemsn.com.au/pregnancy/ These days when I have a routine ultrasound done once a year or so, I hate looking at that empty uterus, it seems like such a waste ;-).
One of the most exciting, time-consuming and overwhelming things was working out what I needed to buy for the baby. Oh man, that was one endless, not to mention expensive, shopping list. I spent hours trawling the internet for strollers, cots, accessories. I wanted everything to be perfect. Mind you though, was terribly grateful for time and energy saved on the things I could get from my sister in law! Anyway, for those of you at this stage right now, I am going to soon publish my list that came about as a result of the many lists I’d found on the internet or been emailed, coupled with the experience of having two babies. For those of you who are interested, this is the company of friends of a friend, and might be helpful: http://www.babyplanners.com.au/
Third trimester was also ok but I did put on quite a bit of weight (about 16 kg at the end of my first pregnancy), and had that terrible duck waddle walk. Was also sick of everyone starting at my tummy, and predicting the baby is a boy. I feel guilty about it now as I understand that what is most important is for the baby to be healthy. I kind of took that for granted, and I really wanted a girl. In fact, right at the end of my pregnancy my husband’s cousin, who had just had her third son, innocently said: “You’re having a boy too, right?” “NO!” I shouted with surprising ferocity. “Oh, so you know it’s a girl?” she asked. “Well, no,” I admitted, “but we don’t know that it is a boy either.”
My friend Gosia, whom I met at prenatal yoga during our first pregnancies, and I exchanged a lot of emails back in the days before newborns graced our homes, and shared our frustration and feelings in general. She was also fed up with being told how big she is. I hope she doesn’t mind me quoting her – “My mother in law said, if you’re so big now what will happen in a month? What?! I’ll be bigger, that’s all.” I did my best to cheer her up. A few days earlier we’d caught a bus together. A man gave up his seat for me on seeing my bump, but no one got up for Gosia, even though our pregnancies were only 2 weeks apart. “Hey, you’re not that big, no one even gave up their seat for you on the bus,” I joked.
I am not going to write about labour and birth here, as you get more than you bargained for in my birth stories. So if you’re interested, read at your own risk ;-) More on infancy later.
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